hands down Minecraft is the most frightening game ever jfc
Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
America: Well sure why not?
Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
America: Whatever you want!
Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
America: Okay, sounds like fun!
Gay couple: We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
America: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO
I can’t make myself happy, and I can’t even make you happy…I feel terrible.
i was babysitting a little boy and girl once and the boy asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said “no!! but i have a girlfriend!” and he said “like a friend thats a girl?” and i said “no like a boyfriend but they’re a girl instead of a boy! we still do couple things but we’re just both girls” and he said, without missing a beat, “oh ok! are you gonna marry her?”
like it’s literally that easy for kids to understand
Oh, just having my heart stomped on again, no big deal.
(Source: isunova)
(Source: illusive-imagess)
Hiding emotion within philosophy. One of my many deceptive talents.
I can’t subtweet about by ex cause she follows me on twitter no so I have to use tumblr but hardly anyone uses tumblr asdfghjklljhtrgvxd.